I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
