i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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