It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
