He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
