worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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