Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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