butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
