Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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