By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
