I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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