I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
