thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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