When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
