saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm sobbing to NWA
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
