I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
