Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
