Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize