Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
