Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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