It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
