alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
