The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
