We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
