i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
