I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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