On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
