Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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