im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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