i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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