Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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