Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
