Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
