I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
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I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
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my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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