Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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