she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
