Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
