I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize