I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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