i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
