You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
