dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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