Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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