let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
