Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
