why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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