every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
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Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
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We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize