Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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