Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
