I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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