Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much