did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
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I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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