last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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