I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
