Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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