Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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