I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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