i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
