Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
