Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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