but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
