There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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