Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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