I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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