somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
