Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize