you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
